The Rush to Sexual Intimacy

I have been writing about the complications that individuals encounter when building a solid foundation in a relationship. To review briefly the first four are anxiety over the more recent approaches in searching for love such as the Internet, being confused about the image of what we might desire in a person and basing it on images the media or culture bombard us with, looking for perfection in others when it doesn’t exist, and the tendency to rush, rush, and rush into a relationship “right now.” Complication #5 is perhaps the most damaging and confusing for young couples, the rush to sexual intimacy. Very often couples become sexually involved with each other before they have established closeness on other levels first. In our society many people connect in a very intimate physical way with partners they haven’t gotten to know. This does not lead to a solid foundation for a relationship. The risks are: mistaking your physical relationship for your entire relationship, neglecting to learn about each other’s nonphysical attributes, delaying the establishment of deep trust and open communication, and feeling vulnerable to misunderstandings or hurt feelings due to the complexities of a sexual relationship. This rush to intimacy can complicate and burden a relationship rather than strengthening it. Complication #6 has to do with mainly young women who find themselves in a position, for whatever reason, of delaying marriage and child bearing to the point that their family and even society can pressure them into a relationship that is ill-advised. The birth of any child should be the result of a carefully considered sequence of choices. These choices should be made within the context of a stable, loving marriage-not as a goal to achieve at all costs. Scrambling to find a relationship at all costs to make motherhood possible means a woman may settle for a less-than-ideal relationship. Also it is okay to be single. Proceed thoughtfully, carefully, and prayerfully. Strive to attain fulfillment as a spouse and as a parent but don’t be so hasty that you jeopardize your long-term happiness. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at