Marriage and Sex

Marriage is about so much more than a sexual relationship. It is a relationship between two thoughtful and intelligent human beings united by a special friendship. It is in marriage where new lives are conceived and find the human and material resources necessary to grow to maturity. This explicitly tells us that the family, a married couple plus children, is an institution of vital importance for society. Thus sexuality affects man very deeply and is the nucleus of social life. This is why “sexual discipline” has always been an imperative for any healthy society and this includes even non-Christians. A lack of sexual discipline is a significant symptom of social collapse. Now Christian teaching is very clear that a sexual life is a married life and sexual pleasure is only permitted in marriage and must be open to the generation of new lives. Sadly our culture trivializes sex to the point that sex is reduced to just another item for consumption. This trivialization of sex leads directly to a trivialization of love. Thus to trivialize love, the most noble of personal human relationships, makes it impossible to enjoy the happiness that it can produce. This is the love between spouses, the love found in family life, and of course the love found in friendships. When trivialized, love is reduced to the satisfaction of an instinct. Many aspects of literary and artistic productions exist based on exploiting a certain kind of physical pleasure. None of us are beyond temptation and we need to take the words of the Bible seriously when it speaks about our sexual behavior. Human happiness and the Kingdom of Heaven, the here and the now and the afterlife, are such serious matters that it is worth the effort to live well. There is an assault taking place on our “intimate selves” delivered through media and advertising and we have to react mainly because we are predisposed “to give in.” The central issue is about love and the nature of love. True love gives one the strength to live sexuality in an ordered manner. “Love, when it is genuine, is all-embracing, stable and lasting, an irresistible spur to all forms of heroism.” (Pope Paul VI) When love is great, pure, and generous, it has the strength to combat our lower desires, which can often be cruel and self-centered. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at