This Christmas season try something different for a movie experience. Go see a performing arts group that presents via a movie theater. Last weekend I saw “Don Giovanni” by W. A. Mozart and it was a rebroadcast of a live performance from the opening night of a new production at the La Scala Opera House in Milan, Italy. The theater, in Kansas City, Missouri, was the Tivoli and though it was a little long, it was very good and featured very famous singers. There are other shows during this Christmas season including “The Magic Flute” by Mozart and the ballet “Sleeping Beauty” by Tchaikovsky. “Don Giovanni” is quite a character for psychological study because though he is quite charming, he is really only out for his own pleasure. There is probably more excitement for him in the actual chase/seduction than in the ultimate physical liaison with the women. He is empty inside and ultimately his life has little meaning. Hence the attempt to fill it up with something so fleeting. The opposite of “love” is “use”, not “hate”, and Don Giovanni could care less about the women’s feelings or their dignity. The lead in the La Scala production not only sang very well but he was very convincing as a man without much of a conscience. So, think about something different for Christmas. And remember, if you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Monthly Archives: December 2011
High Standards
Here are some ways a young woman can claim the respect they deserve. First, dress in a way appropriate to your dignity. Don’t walk around sending a message that your body is the best part of you. This implies that your heart, mind, and soul aren’t so important. Say with your modesty “I am worth waiting to see.” Second, refuse to sleep with a man until you have his wedding ring on your finger. If he really loves you, he will wait. The respect you have for yourself and for each other will carry over into your marriage. Third, set your standards high on who you will date. A real man will rise up to meet your standards, but if you stoop and lower yours to his, you will have much to regret. Be patient, amazing men do exist! Lastly be willing to confront any guy who ogles you with his eyes or touches you inappropriately. Firmly and respectfully (and maybe in private) let him know that this is completely unacceptable. Parents do not be afraid to talk to your sons and daughters about this sensitive issue. It can save everyone a lot of heartache. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Christmas Message from Lamar
History is full of men who claim that they came from God, or that they were gods, or that they bore messages from God-Buddha, Mohammed, Confucius, Christ, Lao-tze, and thousands of others, right down to the person who founded a new religion this very day. Each of them does have a right to be heard and considered. But there needs to be some measure by which men and women can decide whether any of these claimants are justified in their claims. There are two kinds of tests which can unveil the truth: reason and history. Reason because everyone possesses it, even those without faith, and history because everyone lives in it and should know something about it.
Reason dictates that if any of these people actually came from God then the least thing that God could do is to pre-announce His coming. If someone was coming with a vitally important message for all men and women, then God would first let people know His messenger was coming, where He would be born, where He would live, the doctrine He would teach, the enemies He would make, the program He would adopt for the future, and the manner of His death. One could judge the validity of a person’s claim by the extent to which the messenger confirmed these announcements. From time to time each one of us must prove our identity whether via a driver’s license, passport, or a birth certificate. There were no predictions about Buddha, Confucius, Lao-tze, Mohammed, or for that matter anyone else but Jesus Christ.
The prophecies of the Old Testament can be best understood in the light of their fulfillment and can anyone doubt that the ancient predictions point to Jesus Christ and the kingdom which he established? In the Septuagint (the ancient Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible) one finds a clear prediction of the virgin birth of the Messiah; in Isaiah chapter 53 there is a prophecy about the patient sufferer, the Servant of the Lord, who will lay down his life as a guilt-offering for his people’s offenses; and the perspectives of the glorious, everlasting kingdom of the House of David. Whom but Christ has these prophecies found in their fulfillment?
In pagan testimony (another historical source to consider) Tacitus, a Roman historian (AD 56-117) mentions that “from Judea was to come the Master and Ruler of the world” and he mentions Christ and the Christians explicitly in his Annals (AD 116). The Greeks expected Him and how did the Magi from the East know of His coming except through prophecy? Plato and Socrates spoke of the Logos and the Universal Wise Man “yet to come.” Even Confucius spoke of the “Saint.” In the Fourth Eclogue of Virgil (70 BC- 19 BC) there is mention of a “chaste woman, smiling on her infant boy, with whom this iron age would pass away.” So what separates Christ from all men is that first He was expected and even the Gentiles (the non-Jews) had a longing for a deliverer, or redeemer. This fact alone distinguishes Jesus Christ from all other religious leaders.
Jesus Christ struck history with such an impact that He split it in two, dividing it into two periods: one before His coming, the other after it. Even those who deny God must date their attacks upon Christ, A.D. so and so, or so many years after His coming. Jesus came into the world to die because that was the goal and fulfillment of His life, the gold He was seeking. Very few of His words or actions are intelligible without reference to His Cross. He was not merely a teacher but a Savior. One can “teach” men to be good but He “gave” men the power to be good, after rescuing mankind from the frustration of guilt.
For Christians worldwide the next four Sundays mark Advent, a time of waiting for the birth of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. For those who do not believe, or perhaps do not understand, it is a time of waiting to turn the page on a new year. A very wise man said that all psychological problems have spiritual solutions. Consider looking into the life of Jesus Christ using your reason and the evidence of history. Good men do not lie and if Christ is all that He said he was, namely “the Son of the Living God and the Word of God in the flesh,” then He is either telling the truth or He is the greatest deceiver who ever lived. In this time of Advent (waiting) whether for the birth of Christ or the page to turn on another New Year, please give consideration of who you want to follow. Christ stepped into the breach of death for us, he crushed sin, and he lifted our gloom and despair. He is the only leader worth following in these unpredictable times. God Bless during this season of Advent and no matter where you are on your spiritual journey love goodness and reject evil.
Oremus, Lamar Hunt, Jr.
PS. I am indebted to the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen for much of the above…
Reactive/Proactive Parents
There is more to this fear of abandonment but it is important to consider for a moment antidotes to this problem that so many people encounter in this harried world. If you are a parent then guard against becoming a reactive parent. Instead become a proactive parent. The lessons you want your children to learn are often taught best during times of emotional intensity. It is easy to learn the truth about things on an intellectual level but if the lesson is not reinforced during times of emotional intensity, it is probably not learned. Ask yourself this, “Can your child behave in a balanced, emotionally healthy way when chaos and pressure break out?” It is primarily within the volcano of emotional stress where children learn about themselves and others. For a good example of how this can be done, see the movie “The Descendants” with George Clooney and watch carefully how his character reacts to the unfolding tragedy in his life. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
People Pleasers Part Two
The problem with being a “people pleaser” is that no one can please everyone all the time and children who try to do this walk through their childhoods as if on eggshells. The slightest misstep for these children seems to destine them for anger, disappointment, or even rejection. A “fragile self” develops and the child is filled with strong but ambivalent emotions. Sometimes they feel intense love, sometimes intense hate. A person with an ambivalent attachment style evolves from an emotionally brittle climate that revolves around two opposing poles: one of living on borrowed time and that at any moment they will be left on their own to fend for themselves, or one of being smothered in hugs and good feelings and knowing they have never lived in a better, more caring environment. There is the momentary assurance of believing that no one who loves this much could ever leave them. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
People Pleasers Part One
Have you ever heard the expression, “people pleasers?” Sadly some children grow up continually playing this game as they wonder how their parents feel toward them. They are preoccupied with Mom and/or Dad’s feelings towards them: Do they love me or not? There is tentativeness in their mind and the child is not sure where they stand. Why is this so? Because from early on in their lives they have struggled with the notion that their parents might leave them. As a result, perpetual “people pleasers” mold themselves to their parents expectations and then later to the expectations of others they love. They become dancers who are always on a stage. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Avoidant People – Part Three
The state of “inwardness” for avoidant people leads to some disturbing tendencies including addictive behaviors or intimacy substitutes. These intimacy substitutes include an excessive fantasy life, Internet addictions (including pornography), eating disorders, substance abuse, shopping sprees, and compulsive thrill seeking behavior such as driving fast or other types of high-risk behaviors. Another disturbing tendency is an angry resentment of God called volitional doubt. This involves turning away from God and pursuing vice or sinful habits. Volitional doubt is a belief that “God is not really there for me; I have prayed and prayed; yet He never comes through; I don’t need Him; I just need me.” Many atheists have a notably avoidant relational style. They rely on no one, including God. Thus there is no desire to learn about God and avoidant people have stopped seeking Him, stopped praying, and given up on the church community. God is seen as merely making sure nothing goes wrong in their lives. So when things do go wrong in their lives, they blame God. However God’s purpose is not to make sure things don’t go wrong in life. They do! One of God’s roles is to provide comfort but the avoidant person only wants to do that for themselves and push on without coming to a place of honesty. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.