The Eye is the Lamp of the Body

The single biggest money maker on the internet is pornography. The profits of pornography are larger than ABC, CBS, NBC, and ESPN combined! Pornography makes more money than all the studios in the American film business. The “adult entertainment” industry generates more than $12 billion in revenue per year. In 2006, of the $1.6 billion that Americans spent on pay-per-view or video-on-demand, about a third went to “sex-related entertainment.” Strip clubs, exotic “sex toys,” porn DVDs, and Internet porn have grown steadily, and with that growth has come acceptance and tolerance. There is even a porn trade show that takes place each year in Las Vegas (no surprise there!) organized by the AVN Media Network. It is a multi-day event featuring panel discussions, screenings, open forums, booths, and workshops. The tobacco industry has been attacked (and rightly so) for marketing cigarettes to young people. So where are the protests against the porn dealers and the entertainment industry for trying to get kids addicted to these very harmful cultural pollutants? While our culture seems to be more than willing to embrace porn stars like Jenna Jameson (ClubJenna, her adult entertainment empire, had revenue of $30 million in 2005), there is little mention of the “dark side” of the industry. An example of the damage done by the industry is when fathers and husbands become addicted to this garbage. There is also little mention in the mainstream media of the sheer degradation that pornography causes to everyone involved – the participants and the viewers, whose minds, expectations, and proclivities become contaminated by pornography.

 Statistics reveal that an alarming 40 million adults in the United States regularly use pornography and that the average age of first exposure is at 11 years of age. This is made worse by the fact that indulging in pornography is no longer considered as being problematic or taboo in our society, and has thus become mainstream and acceptable. Pornography is readily accessible on the Internet with unrestricted access. Our youth are being subjected to evils unheard of 15 years ago.  Why hasn’t our government – which seems to be aggressively interested in regulating most everything else – taken steps to protect its citizens through some sort of filter on the World Wide Web? While this may not happen in the immediate future given the economic driving force of the pornographic industry and those who would cite “freedom of speech”, this is where voices need to be heard in order to force a change. The citizens need to be protected and there should be a better understanding of what “freedom of speech” actually means.

 Individuals understand that various things that are readily available to them, such as food, are safe and not (for example) poisonous. The abuse of illegal drugs (such as cocaine) leads to disaster in interpersonal relationships. Yet the most potent and addictive drug available today is pornography! Porn creates a physiological addiction resulting from the firing of certain neural pathways in the human brain. IT IS NOT HARMLESS ENTERTAINMENT! Pornography should be avoided at all costs because it can enslave an individual for a lifetime.

 As a counselor for the last decade or so, I have witnessed the role pornography plays in the devastation of the lives of many individuals. This includes the sexual abuse of children, broken marriages, relationships beyond repair, men in prison for the possession of child pornography and other sexual offenses, women treated with great disrespect and as mere objects, and the social landscape littered with broken families. I have also been privileged to be a part of some remarkable stories of healing and deliverance from the jaws of this evil. This comes about because of a reordering of one’s life that is directed to God and His Revelation in His Son Jesus Christ.  However, there is now a sense of urgency because of the escalation of this mind-numbing evil. Because I am so convicted in my heart to do something about it, I have decided to set aside my counseling practice and join in this cultural war for the soul of our country and the souls of our children (mine and yours). Make no mistake – there is a spiritual battle going on against evils such as abortion and pornography. Prayer must be our constant companion and weapon against pornography. But there are specific things we can all do to take this evil down and stand up to pornography.  

This website will be taken down for a short period of time soon so that it may be refashioned into a site to serve as a resource for those who want ideas on how to battle pornography. There is much one can do to protect one’s family, but the problem of pornography is of such magnitude that it permeates our entire culture. It is time for leaders to rise up and call for an end to the poisoning of our society, our children, and ultimately our way of life. It is time to “Stand Up To Porn” and fight back. God be with us.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Review

Last week my wife and I went to see a movie called, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” starring a slew of well-known English actors and set in India. As the movie opens the viewer is introduced to various characters experiencing specific life events that are going to place them in the same location, a start-up retirement community in India run by an ambitious young man who is the youngest of three sons. I did not read a review of the movie beforehand but had seen a preview of it. Years ago I had read a book called “Howard’s End” by E.M. Forester and remembered the fine movie I had seen made from the book, so I was expecting something similar. Forester’s book is about three families and does address class and gender struggle among other things. The “expectations” of my mind floated to an exotic location with an understated plot full of subtle twists and turns with plenty of psychological nuances and tensions. Boy were we disappointed. Movies have tremendous power to convey messages and Hollywood rarely disappoints when it comes to furthering an agenda that is not only misguided but very dangerous. We have a generation of brainwashed individuals both young and old falling for this balderdash like no other. It was actually embarrassing to see well-known seasoned actors play parts beneath their true talents. What a waste!

In the movie we see the word or concept of “love” linked throughout to the following: a thirty-year marriage portrayed as miserable, overbearing, and on the verge of breaking up; an elderly man focused on finding a woman to have a “mountaintop” sexual experience with; a recently widowed woman whose husband of forty years hid their finances from her throughout their marriage, thus leaving her broke and having to find work to support herself; an older woman with a reputation of multiple past marriages; a recently retired lawyer with health concerns who is returning to find a man he had a brief sexual fling with in their late teens (he is a confirmed lifelong “gay” man); a bitter old maid with deep prejudices (and no ability to hold her tongue about it) who has taken care of someone else’s children her whole life; and lastly a young couple who are attracted to each other (it is implied that they are having sex) but of course their attraction is counter to their stations in life (i.e. clearly a reference to the caste system). While we do get a very brief glimpse of these people’s lives before they leave for India, the move seems impulsive because they just up and leave family and friends. This is clearly an attack on the family and the stability it provides. Where are these people’s roots? Do their life experiences count for anything? What we see in their behavior is just not realistic. In short there is nothing that reflects a traditional view of what real love is as stated by Paul in the Bible. “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong; but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7). Upon reflection, the movie bashed marriage and quite frankly why would the young couple in the movie want to persevere given what they witness going on around them in the so-called “older and wiser” generation. It was as if these people never learned anything from their own personal life experiences. Human beings are not just reactive animals. We can reflect on our experiences and grow emotionally and spiritually from them.

Mary Eberstadt author of “Adam and Eve After the Pill” (a book everyone should read) states that, “Christian teaching in these intensely controversial matters (such as premarital sex, cohabitation, homosexuality, and birth control) is actually being vindicated by secular social science and secular evidence from elsewhere, including the popular culture.” Even an atheist would draw the same conclusions. Most of what is portrayed in “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” strikes at the dignity of the human person. There is not love but the “use” of another human being for one’s own personal gratification (selfishness). The evidence is in: must we as a nation collapse due to a lack of moral clarity or can we begin to teach virtue and strive for the happiness that authentic and genuine relationships provide? Happily, ticket sale revenues for “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” are low and I am sorry I saw it. However I am grateful to point out to readers how movies can associate truly beautiful God-given capacities like love with such hurtful, immature and destructive behavior. This association is deceitful and will ruin lives! There was nothing charming about this film and in fact, it made me angry and miserable on the inside.

The book, “50 Shades of Grey” by E L James, is being billed as an “erotic best seller” and is sweeping through neighborhood book clubs at an alarming rate. How can anyone in their right mind proclaim anything redeeming about a book that portrays “rape” as some form of “romance.” St. Paul said “flee immorality” and we should all do the same. I briefly glanced at a blog about the book and was simply shocked by the nonsense that I read. St. Augustine said, “Sin diminishes sight” meaning the more we separate ourselves from God’s self-revelation through his Son, Jesus Christ, we don’t think or do things in a right mind. We become senseless. Where has common sense gone? The book is just another example of the “pornification” of our culture.

Studies clearly demonstrate that premarital sex, cohabitation, and the use of birth control lead to markedly higher levels of marital/relational dissatisfaction and ultimately divorce. Social science confirms what faith and reason already tell us. Spread the Word! If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at

Are You Looking Back?

People who feel they have been damaged or hurt by how they were treated in the past, either by family or by others, often live in isolation and try to keep other people at an arm’s length distance emotionally. They are reluctant to share their fears, hopes, dreams, wishes, and vulnerabilities with others. In other words, to share that most sacred part of themselves. The opposite can also be quite true by opening up and sharing far too much, far too soon in a relationship. There is a balance between relating and over-relating. If you have been hurt there is a crucial need for emotional and spiritual healing especially if this occurred in your fundamental relationships. If you don’t face the demons from your past, you cannot live in an emotionally healthy way in the present and future. No matter your faith, tradition, or culture there is a higher power and if you believe in the ability of God to intervene in your life, you will experience healing and be comforted. Many people live with the burden of their past and they just don’t know how to let go of it. They literally need someone to come in and cut that rope and say, “Let go of it.” Moving on with God’s help means you can begin to make a big difference in learning to be open to others again. In Scripture the story of Lot is somewhat instructive in dealing with the past. Lot was Abram’s nephew (Abram’s name was not changed to Abraham until God made the second covenant with him regarding becoming the father of a host of nations) and Abram took Lot with him as he set out for the land of Canaan. As they were traveling in stages toward Bethel it became clear that the land they were on could not support both Lot and Abraham’s possessions and there were quarrels between the herdsman of Abram’s livestock and those of Lot’s. Lot then was offered to go either right or left and Abram said he would choose the opposite direction. Lot ultimately settled among the cities on the plain of Jordan, pitching his tents near the city of Sodom. Lot and his family were surrounded by evil and two angels protected him and his daughters from the evil intentions of the townspeople. Lot was urged immediately to take his wife and daughters and leave Sodom. Lot’s son-in-laws thought he was joking. Lot fled but his wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt. What is instructive in all of this is that we can spend a lot of energy looking back in life and if we are not careful we will miss what is happening in the moment and miss out on the future. If you need psychological and spiritual healing, the first step is to admit that need and let someone wise into the most sacred part of yourself where you will share your fears, hopes, dreams, wishes, and vulnerabilities. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at

The Weight of Your Behavior

If we are not careful we will find ourselves accompanied often by some of the most cherished, but dangerous, earthly companions: Power, Prestige, and Pleasure. Dr. Rob Gilbert notes, “First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits, or they will eventually conquer you.” Pietri Bandinelli was an attractive young man with clear eyes and a kind face. Leonardo da Vinci chose him to be his Jesus model for his painting “The Lord’s (or Last) Supper.” Years later Leonardo had not yet completed the painting but one day was finally moved to go to the slums of Milan, Italy and look for a model for Judas. After looking for about an hour, he found the perfect man. His eyes were cloudy and his face was harsh. A short time later while the man was posing he was asked by Leonardo if they had met before and the man responded that yes indeed they had, he was in fact the Jesus model. He went on to reveal that much had changed in his life since then, not much of it for the good. We can grow very weak under the weight of our misdeeds but they are being noted, tied all together, hung around our neck, and we will grow very weak beneath the weight of these deeds. Look carefully at power and control issues in your life. Are you overreaching? Do you seek notoriety to bring attention to yourself? What personal vices do you need to rid yourself of? A vice can seemingly start out as very pleasurable and rewarding but it soon can become a source of serious concern and trouble for a person. Excessive drinking, drugs, pornography, promiscuous sex, shopping, and gambling are all very serious vices and not easy habits to discard. These become vices because the individual is attempting to replace genuine human relationships with “things” that produce a fleeting reward with troubling consequences. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at

Reactive/Proactive Parents

There is more to this fear of abandonment but it is important to consider for a moment antidotes to this problem that so many people encounter in this harried world. If you are a parent then guard against becoming a reactive parent. Instead become a proactive parent. The lessons you want your children to learn are often taught best during times of emotional intensity. It is easy to learn the truth about things on an intellectual level but if the lesson is not reinforced during times of emotional intensity, it is probably not learned. Ask yourself this, “Can your child behave in a balanced, emotionally healthy way when chaos and pressure break out?” It is primarily within the volcano of emotional stress where children learn about themselves and others. For a good example of how this can be done, see the movie “The Descendants” with George Clooney and watch carefully how his character reacts to the unfolding tragedy in his life.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at

People Pleasers Part Two

The problem with being a “people pleaser” is that no one can please everyone all the time and children who try to do this walk through their childhoods as if on eggshells. The slightest misstep for these children seems to destine them for anger, disappointment, or even rejection. A “fragile self” develops and the child is filled with strong but ambivalent emotions. Sometimes they feel intense love, sometimes intense hate. A person with an ambivalent attachment style evolves from an emotionally brittle climate that revolves around two opposing poles: one of living on borrowed time and that at any moment they will be left on their own to fend for themselves, or one of being smothered in hugs and good feelings and knowing they have never lived in a better, more caring environment. There is the momentary assurance of believing that no one who loves this much could ever leave them.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at

How Do You Deal With The Normal Sadness Of Life?

Those who seek an escape from the normal sadness of life through prayer and religious practice often use the defense mechanisms of denial and repression to create a false sense of tranquility. This only stores away the tears and anger for another day. Constant denial of the realities of the human situation can lead eventually to a profound sadness and depression, which often require therapeutic intervention and sometimes medication. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who is, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at