Christmas Message from Lamar

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History is full of men who claim that they came from God, or that they were gods, or that they bore messages from God-Buddha, Mohammed, Confucius, Christ, Lao-tze, and thousands of others, right down to the person who founded a new religion this very day. Each of them does have a right to be heard and considered. But there needs to be some measure by which men and women can decide whether any of these claimants are justified in their claims. There are two kinds of tests which can unveil the truth: reason and history. Reason because everyone possesses it, even those without faith, and history because everyone lives in it and should know something about it.

Reason dictates that if any of these people actually came from God then the least thing that God could do is to pre-announce His coming. If someone was coming with a vitally important message for all men and women, then God would first let people know His messenger was coming, where He would be born, where He would live, the doctrine He would teach, the enemies He would make, the program He would adopt for the future, and the manner of His death. One could judge the validity of a person’s claim by the extent to which the messenger confirmed these announcements. From time to time each one of us must prove our identity whether via a driver’s license, passport, or a birth certificate. There were no predictions about Buddha, Confucius, Lao-tze, Mohammed, or for that matter anyone else but Jesus Christ.

The prophecies of the Old Testament can be best understood in the light of their fulfillment and can anyone doubt that the ancient predictions point to Jesus Christ and the kingdom which he established? In the Septuagint (the ancient Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible) one finds a clear prediction of the virgin birth of the Messiah; in Isaiah chapter 53 there is a prophecy about the patient sufferer, the Servant of the Lord, who will lay down his life as a guilt-offering for his people’s offenses; and the perspectives of the glorious, everlasting kingdom of the House of David. Whom but Christ has these prophecies found in their fulfillment?

In pagan testimony (another historical source to consider) Tacitus, a Roman historian (AD 56-117) mentions that “from Judea was to come the Master and Ruler of the world” and he mentions Christ and the Christians explicitly in his Annals  (AD 116). The Greeks expected Him and how did the Magi from the East know of His coming except through prophecy? Plato and Socrates spoke of the Logos and the Universal Wise Man “yet to come.” Even Confucius spoke of the “Saint.” In the Fourth Eclogue of Virgil (70 BC- 19 BC) there is mention of a “chaste woman, smiling on her infant boy, with whom this iron age would pass away.” So what separates Christ from all men is that first He was expected and even the Gentiles (the non-Jews) had a longing for a deliverer, or redeemer. This fact alone distinguishes Jesus Christ from all other religious leaders.

Jesus Christ struck history with such an impact that He split it in two, dividing it into two periods: one before His coming, the other after it. Even those who deny God must date their attacks upon Christ, A.D. so and so, or so many years after His coming.  Jesus came into the world to die because that was the goal and fulfillment of His life, the gold He was seeking. Very few of His words or actions are intelligible without reference to His Cross. He was not merely a teacher but a Savior. One can “teach” men to be good but He “gave” men the power to be good, after rescuing mankind from the frustration of guilt.

For Christians worldwide the next four Sundays mark Advent, a time of waiting for the birth of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. For those who do not believe, or perhaps do not understand, it is a time of waiting to turn the page on a new year. A very wise man said that all psychological problems have spiritual solutions. Consider looking into the life of Jesus Christ using your reason and the evidence of history. Good men do not lie and if Christ is all that He said he was, namely “the Son of the Living God and the Word of God in the flesh,” then He is either telling the truth or He is the greatest deceiver who ever lived. In this time of Advent (waiting) whether for the birth of Christ or the page to turn on another New Year, please give consideration of who you want to follow. Christ stepped into the breach of death for us, he crushed sin, and he lifted our gloom and despair. He is the only leader worth following in these unpredictable times. God Bless during this season of Advent and no matter where you are on your spiritual journey love goodness and reject evil.

Oremus, Lamar Hunt, Jr.

PS. I am indebted to the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen for much of the above…

 

Reactive/Proactive Parents

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There is more to this fear of abandonment but it is important to consider for a moment antidotes to this problem that so many people encounter in this harried world. If you are a parent then guard against becoming a reactive parent. Instead become a proactive parent. The lessons you want your children to learn are often taught best during times of emotional intensity. It is easy to learn the truth about things on an intellectual level but if the lesson is not reinforced during times of emotional intensity, it is probably not learned. Ask yourself this, “Can your child behave in a balanced, emotionally healthy way when chaos and pressure break out?” It is primarily within the volcano of emotional stress where children learn about themselves and others. For a good example of how this can be done, see the movie “The Descendants” with George Clooney and watch carefully how his character reacts to the unfolding tragedy in his life.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

People Pleasers Part Two

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The problem with being a “people pleaser” is that no one can please everyone all the time and children who try to do this walk through their childhoods as if on eggshells. The slightest misstep for these children seems to destine them for anger, disappointment, or even rejection. A “fragile self” develops and the child is filled with strong but ambivalent emotions. Sometimes they feel intense love, sometimes intense hate. A person with an ambivalent attachment style evolves from an emotionally brittle climate that revolves around two opposing poles: one of living on borrowed time and that at any moment they will be left on their own to fend for themselves, or one of being smothered in hugs and good feelings and knowing they have never lived in a better, more caring environment. There is the momentary assurance of believing that no one who loves this much could ever leave them.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

People Pleasers Part One

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Have you ever heard the expression, “people pleasers?” Sadly some children grow up continually playing this game as they wonder how their parents feel toward them. They are preoccupied with Mom and/or Dad’s feelings towards them: Do they love me or not? There is tentativeness in their mind and the child is not sure where they stand. Why is this so? Because from early on in their lives they have struggled with the notion that their parents might leave them. As a result, perpetual “people pleasers” mold themselves to their parents expectations and then later to the expectations of others they love. They become dancers who are always on a stage.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Avoidant People – Part Three

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The state of “inwardness” for avoidant people leads to some disturbing tendencies including addictive behaviors or intimacy substitutes. These intimacy substitutes include an excessive fantasy life, Internet addictions (including pornography), eating disorders, substance abuse, shopping sprees, and compulsive thrill seeking behavior such as driving fast or other types of high-risk behaviors. Another disturbing tendency is an angry resentment of God called volitional doubt. This involves turning away from God and pursuing vice or sinful habits. Volitional doubt is a belief that “God is not really there for me; I have prayed and prayed; yet He never comes through; I don’t need Him; I just need me.” Many atheists have a notably avoidant relational style. They rely on no one, including God. Thus there is no desire to learn about God and avoidant people have stopped seeking Him, stopped praying, and given up on the church community. God is seen as merely making sure nothing goes wrong in their lives. So when things do go wrong in their lives, they blame God. However God’s purpose is not to make sure things don’t go wrong in life. They do! One of God’s roles is to provide comfort but the avoidant person only wants to do that for themselves and push on without coming to a place of honesty. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

The Compulsive Perfectionist

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A Compulsive Perfectionist is someone who, as a child, achieved attention only for significant successes and were ignored or sternly criticized for anything less. They were discouraged from showing their intense feelings and were severely chastened for expressing anger or frustration. Their parents were emotionally cold and distant and uncomfortable with physical expressions of affection or intimacy. Perfectionists value logic and order. For them, feelings and relationships are like ants at a picnic, unwanted. Perfectionists are prone to depression, especially after losing control of some aspect of their lives. They are also vulnerable to anxiety problems and worry.  When they worry it only intensifies their compulsive perfectionism leading to irritable and cantankerous behavior. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

The Exiled or Disconnected Person

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The Exiled or Disconnected person is robed in self-sufficiency and does not feel the need for acceptance or approval from others. They may in fact have little desire to connect at all. They believe they must exclusively count on themselves to provide psychological and emotional support. Typically the exiled or disconnected person cuts themselves off from people and looks inward to a world of fantasy to find pleasure and comfort. To those around this person it may appear that they look cold, distant, and aloof. The exiled person has learned to fend for oneself and Latchkey kids are prone to develop this relational style. For the exiled person, depending on others for emotional support provokes anxiety, which leads to profound feelings of vulnerability. The exiled person derives little if any pleasure from interacting with others and can come across as having a sense of superiority. This is not like the puffed-up superiority of the narcissist. The exiled person barricades themselves from their emotions. Life appears bland and colorless. It is calm, cool, and without much intensity. Lastly for the exiled person there is a longing for connectedness but the fear of being overwhelmed and controlled by others blunts this desire.  If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Know About Narcissism

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Narcissism is a state of excessive, inflated self-love.  This sense of self-love is considered a false self, because below the layer of superiority festers a deeply rooted sense of worthlessness. Successful narcissists, especially those in the entertainment business (this can include athletes), the political arena, those who do public speaking for a living, and even in Christian ministry, can be manipulative and are in a position to easily exploit others. These individuals frequently surround themselves with a staff of extremely devoted followers who have committed themselves to providing their charismatic boss with uninterrupted adulation. Narcissists become even more self-absorbed under stress and when they receive negative feedback, they become angry and contemptuous. They will defend their actions no matter how indefensible these actions may seem and even go on a counterattack challenging their critic for having the gall to confront them. Unfortunately the problems go unaddressed and may even get worse.  Narcissism can be treated through therapy.  If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Avoidant People – Part Two

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When avoidant people are asked to describe their parents, they use generalities like “wonderful, great, warm, loving, and kind.” However when asked to provide specific examples of when their parents behaved this way, they are unable to provide specific examples. They want to believe this really happened but have no specific experience to back it up. Insensitive parenting includes “dismissive” parenting where a parent dismisses a child’s emotions, especially the negative ones. “Rejecting” parenting involves a parent who is emotionally disengaged from the child even from early on as an infant. “Intrusive” parenting is too much of a good thing and a failure on the part of the parent to be attuned to the child in a way that honors their freedom to choose. It is a failure to read subtle cues. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Avoidant People – Part One

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People who have an avoidant attachment style find it difficult to listen sensitively to the thoughts and feelings of others. They also don’t like to disclose their private thoughts and experiences and they are turned off by tenderness and touch. Why is this?  Because growing up they felt abandoned and rejected.  They learned to hide uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and distance themselves from their feelings. This includes the desire for emotional closeness. Avoidant persons can seem tough and hard on the outside and even develop a “protected self.”  The closer one tries to get to an avoidant person the more defensive they may become.  If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.