The state of “inwardness” for avoidant people leads to some disturbing tendencies including addictive behaviors or intimacy substitutes. These intimacy substitutes include an excessive fantasy life, Internet addictions (including pornography), eating disorders, substance abuse, shopping sprees, and compulsive thrill seeking behavior such as driving fast or other types of high-risk behaviors. Another disturbing tendency is an angry resentment of God called volitional doubt. This involves turning away from God and pursuing vice or sinful habits. Volitional doubt is a belief that “God is not really there for me; I have prayed and prayed; yet He never comes through; I don’t need Him; I just need me.” Many atheists have a notably avoidant relational style. They rely on no one, including God. Thus there is no desire to learn about God and avoidant people have stopped seeking Him, stopped praying, and given up on the church community. God is seen as merely making sure nothing goes wrong in their lives. So when things do go wrong in their lives, they blame God. However God’s purpose is not to make sure things don’t go wrong in life. They do! One of God’s roles is to provide comfort but the avoidant person only wants to do that for themselves and push on without coming to a place of honesty. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Tag Archives: bible advice
The Grace of Marriage
The key to making changes in a marriage is to see your spouse as God’s son or daughter. Your spouse and you are someone Jesus Christ died for and thus you both are part of God’s flock, a part of His handiwork in the Kingdom. Your spouse is worthy of your respect at all times. Spouses can work through each other to accomplish God’s work. Spouses can influence each other to the good. If you want to influence someone to be more Christ-like then you need to become more Christ-like yourself. A spouse’s behavior should be exemplified by a single word: grace. Grace heals. The hallmark of grace is forgiveness, and one aspect of forgiveness is the attitude of “I am giving up my right to retaliation, my right to hurt you back.” If your spouse has given you every reason for withdrawing, pursuing, or fighting, forgiveness means just letting it go. You are going to cancel the debt. However cancelling a debt is just part of forgiveness. The other part is establishing an appropriate relationship. That means not being foolish or inviting more hurt but having enough courage to take risks and to be vulnerable. Share those parts of yourself you have been keeping locked away…secret feelings, risky opinions, times when you risk rejection but share an idea anyway. If you are in need of marriage counseling or need some counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Bible Marriage Advice
We need to live for our spouses and this makes their problems your problems. Though often quoted, the Letter to the Ephesians 5:21-33 is a passage all couples should review from time to time and utilize as an examination of conscience on how they are doing in their marriage. “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife just as Christ is the head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes it and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.” If we truly are one flesh how can our spouses have issues reverberating so deeply within them and we not consider that we have those same issues? Our spouse’s problem is your problem. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
How Do You Live Your Life?
“What is it you desire? What kind of method or procedure do you paint for yourself in this life? What do you think serving God involves other than avoiding evil, keeping His commandments, and being occupied with things of God as best we can?” St. John of the Cross If you are in need of counseling or know someone who is, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
More Wisdom from the Bible
Lamar Hunt, Jr. knows the Bible provides sound advice. Lamar like to use an appropriate bible quote to help individuals in counseling. Here’s another of his favorites: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18. If you are in need of counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/