Tag Archives: Forgiveness

A Ballet May be Just What You Need

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When I think of ballet, I think of the movie, “Men in Tights” which I happened to catch a little of the other day (the Mel Brooks movie of 1993 is uneven at best). Well fortunately I was asked by my oldest daughter Sarah, to attend the Kansas City Ballet’s production of “Romeo and Juliet” on Sunday February 26th at 2 pm and this was no “Men in Tights.” My wife Rita and I went to mainly enjoy the company of my daughter and son-in-law. There was also the promise of some fine dining afterward. I also went because I am familiar with the music to the ballet by Sergei Prokofiev. Now Prokofiev is a quirky Russian composer with an uneven output of classical music. That means there is some music that is captivating and some that is grating and irritating to listen to. “Romeo and Juliet” is of the former and is some of Prokofiev’s finest music. What caught me further by surprise was the excellence of the ballet and the overall presentation with sets and dramatic gestures by the dancers. I was moved by their presentation of this time-old story of thwarted love and family feuding. Honestly how could adults get in the way of such devoted lovers and not encourage their love for one another. Selfishness and pride come to mind.

Three things stood out to me. First was the dancing of the male lead, Anthony Krutzkamp. Now I have been exposed to athletes all of my life and I can tell you this guy is an athlete, yet very supple and effortless. It sort of reminded me of Joe Montana throwing the football. Understated but quite effective. It seems to me professional athletes could learn a thing or two from ballet dancers about flexibility (this is not a new notion!). It would probably help them a lot. Second was the farewell performance of a long-time dancer with the Kansas City Ballet named Kimberly Cowen. I thought how this must have been a very emotional performance for her and while I read she will appear in May at a last “public” performance this had to be a very bittersweet moment for her. For all of the hubbub surrounding someone like Peyton Manning, there are so many professionals dedicated to their art and craft that go unnoticed and under appreciated. Lastly, of course, is the Kansas City Symphony, a significant partner in this production. Sometimes when ballet music is performed as orchestral music (or a suite) without dancers, the music is played at breakneck speeds with no regard to the tempo or the subtleties of the music. However with dancers in the mix, there has to be restraint because tempos that are out of control are not conducive for allowing the dancers to execute their intricate moves. The conductor did a great job of watching the dancers and conveying the desired tempo to the musicians. Even with a small force of musicians, most probably because of size constraints in the orchestra pit, the music came across as majestic and skillfully executed. Prokofiev loves to write passages for various instruments that go to the extremes of their range. The musicians acquitted themselves quite well and the brass never sounded too forceful or obnoxious.

Once again a message for all Kansas Citian’s, please check out a symphony, opera, or ballet performance at the Kaufmann Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Kansas City. Support these local artists and their gifts. There are some genuinely beautiful things going on and the arts so enrich one’s mind and soul. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

What Makes A Marriage Work

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Marriage has the power to sanctify (make holy) each person in the marriage. A couple cannot love each other just based on their own power and initiative. There must be a vital and shared prayer life because faith changes everything. There is a heroic generosity in working for the good of the other person.

As a starting point both individuals in a marriage need to develop their Christian identity. This means a set of values and asking yourself the question of, “Would you live out those values if a camera were on you?” Values are a reflection of your choices and actions. It is a clear sense of your mission.

Couples should start with a “Marital Mission Statement” and asked themselves who they are in relationships with people. If you don’t know what qualities to work on look at Galatians Chapter 5, verses 22-23. Typically the qualities of patience, gentleness, generosity, and self-control need to be worked on marital relationships.

Next, get practical and write it down. If one partner has difficulty with their temper (i.e. patience) then the other partner needs to know how to respond to outbursts of temper. Make sure it is about the quality or virtue you each want to work and remember you are there to help be a source of grace for your partner’s emotional and spiritual growth. Attacks on a partner’s character have no place in a marriage. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Where Do You Stand? Part Three

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In 1997 a freshman senator from Pennsylvania leveled strong criticism at Catholic Charities because the organization was opposed to welfare-reform legislation. Rick Santorum said welfare hurt rather than helped poor families. So Catholic Charities made a Faustian deal with the U.S. government meaning “we will take your support and turn a blind eye to some of the discrepancies we are noticing in some of your anti-life policies.” And on and on it went until we had a startling statement in 2009 from Sister Carol Keehan the head of the Catholic Health Association, “The Catholic Health Association applauds the US House of Representatives and President Obama for enacting health care legislation that will bring security and health to millions of American families.” The only problem with her boldness in proclaiming this was the fact that the U.S. Catholic Bishops opposed the legislation fearing significant conflict with the church’s beliefs. So we arrive at the point where the government demands that the Catholic Church continue with its limitless acts of virtue while the government expects limitless compliance to policies that crush life in innumerable ways. Pope John Paul II stood on American soil and stated that the West is a “culture of death.” Why didn’t we take him seriously and perhaps with childlike innocence look to that firm hand of correction with a more open and teachable attitude? Selfishness and self-love dominate our culture while charity almost seems an aberration. Why didn’t someone tell Sister Keehan that she does not speak for the Catholic Church? So many well-intentioned people get confused by these types of remarks. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Where Do You Stand? Part Two

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So what is at the root of President Obama’s desire to uphold such an unjust law and to continue to find ways to alienate and attack strong-believing Christians and people of many other faith backgrounds? Well Stephen Covey in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” notes in habit #5 “Seek First to Understand, Then be Understood.” This is actually a hallmark of empathy, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective, especially the most defenseless of individuals. A person who struggles with a lack of empathy is someone who typically struggles with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (i.e. an extreme form of selfishness). We are called to graduate from the school of “selfishness” about the time in our lives when an adult such as a parent tells us to think about others and be concerned about their frailties and even help them. Obama did not receive this type of formation while growing up because it is clear that his lack of regard for human life at all stages is callous. In fact one could use the phrase “breathtaking callousness” to define the person of the president. He is not a man interested in the virtue of the greatest good for another human being and would rather take away freedom than be challenged (or try to even learn something new). In short, he is not at the moment teachable and thus there is no humility about this man. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

The Conscience

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So where does conscience come into play with this issue of whether one complies or not with an unjust law? Conscience is the interior voice of a human being, within whose heart the inner law of God is inscribed. Moral conscience is a judgment of practical reason about the moral quality of a human action. It moves a person at the appropriate moment to do good and avoid evil. Consider these words of John Henry Cardinal Newman, “Conscience is a messenger of Him, who, both in nature and in grace, speaks to us behind a veil, and teaches and rules by his representatives. Conscience is the aboriginal vicar of Christ.” Man has in his heart a law inscribed by God. Our conscience is man’s most secret core and sanctuary. Here are three things to consider: A conscience must be “informed” and moral judgment “enlightened”; the education of conscience is a lifelong task; and in the formation of conscience the “Word of God” is the light for our path. Now for three simple rules that apply in every case: 1) One may never do evil so that good may result from it; 2) Whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; and 3) “Thus sinning against your brethren and wounding their conscience…you sin against Christ.” (1 COR 8:12) Anyone who is confronted by situations that make moral judgments less assured and decisions difficult must seriously seek what is right and good and discern the will of God expressed in divine law. To force the Catholic Church in the United States to comply with the HHS mandates is to force evil upon people whether they are believers or not because these mandates strike at the heart of the dignity of each and every human being. Catholics are not only fighting for their God-given rights but are also fighting for those who do not have a voice, the unborn and innocent. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Oppose This Proposed Mandate

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Catholic Christians (and for that matter all people serious about the dignity of the human person) face a very serious attack on individual conscience rights and religious liberty undertaken by the Obama administration. The Catholic Bishops of the U.S. (including Archbishop Joseph Naumann of the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas) oppose a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) mandate that is part of the 2010 federal health care reform act-the Patient Protection and Affordability Act. Under HHS rules, all private health care plans will be required to cover contraception and sterilization as preventative care for women. All contraceptive methods-including certain abortifacients-would be covered without co-pays or other cost sharing. Thus Catholic employers will be forced to offer their employees health coverage that includes sterilization, abortion-inducing drugs, and contraception. This is an impossible situation that Catholics (and I hope other serious minded Christians) cannot accept and must resist. This is an unjust law and Archbishop Naumann has stated that “We cannot-we will not-comply with this unjust law.” I am reminded that in the Gospel when faced with overwhelming evil, Christ cajoled us to pray and fast. Also please contact your congressman or senator and insist this legislation be overturned. To borrow the words from a recent movie release, Christians need to unite and be “extremely loud and incredibly close” to this situation. Even if you think your political representatives believe what you believe, they need a show of courage and strength on the part of believers. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

The Weight of Your Behavior

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If we are not careful we will find ourselves accompanied often by some of the most cherished, but dangerous, earthly companions: Power, Prestige, and Pleasure. Dr. Rob Gilbert notes, “First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits, or they will eventually conquer you.” Pietri Bandinelli was an attractive young man with clear eyes and a kind face. Leonardo da Vinci chose him to be his Jesus model for his painting “The Lord’s (or Last) Supper.” Years later Leonardo had not yet completed the painting but one day was finally moved to go to the slums of Milan, Italy and look for a model for Judas. After looking for about an hour, he found the perfect man. His eyes were cloudy and his face was harsh. A short time later while the man was posing he was asked by Leonardo if they had met before and the man responded that yes indeed they had, he was in fact the Jesus model. He went on to reveal that much had changed in his life since then, not much of it for the good. We can grow very weak under the weight of our misdeeds but they are being noted, tied all together, hung around our neck, and we will grow very weak beneath the weight of these deeds. Look carefully at power and control issues in your life. Are you overreaching? Do you seek notoriety to bring attention to yourself? What personal vices do you need to rid yourself of? A vice can seemingly start out as very pleasurable and rewarding but it soon can become a source of serious concern and trouble for a person. Excessive drinking, drugs, pornography, promiscuous sex, shopping, and gambling are all very serious vices and not easy habits to discard. These become vices because the individual is attempting to replace genuine human relationships with “things” that produce a fleeting reward with troubling consequences. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

The Hard Drive in Our Minds

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Albert Camus said, “I shall tell you a secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.” Some time ago it was reported that a Dr. Wilder Penfield of Montreal’s Neurological Institute discovered that certain sites in the brain when stimulated electrically led one patient to hear an old melody he thought he had long ago forgotten and another patient to relive the experience of having her baby (oh boy!). His findings convinced some scientists that every action of our life is recorded in our brain and that even our thoughts and feelings about our actions at the time we did them are also recorded. Could there then be solid psychological support for the biblical teaching of judgment after death? A lot of people would rather try to forget certain things but the memory is etched on the hard drive of your brain much like wherever go on the Internet is also recorded on your computer’s internal hard drive. It sure does matter what a person does with the time given him/her by God. The very famous sportswriter Grantland Rice said, “When the One Great Scorer comes to write against your name, He writes-not that you won or lost-but how you played the game.” We should be concerned about God’s judgment when we die because no one escapes it and no one will get the VIP treatment. A way to start with examining your conscience is by spending a few minutes each day replaying your day and picking out a high point and then a low point and recognizing the need for God’s forgiveness and the grace to respond better the next time. Finally look ahead to tomorrow and focus on a critical point like a difficult thing you must do, and talk to the Holy Spirit asking for guidance with that difficult thing. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Today’s Temptation

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The word to “tempt” is not always used of an evil person or situation urging a good person to do wrong. When Jesus is tempted by Satan while in the desert he quotes Deuteronomy 6:16 by responding with “Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God” where the verb “tempt” has some such meaning as “try God’s patience” or almost to “ask for trouble.” However when we say we are tempted, it means that our free will is attracted. In Scripture, to be tempted means that the will is being subjected to a test, not that our free will is attracted. So was Christ tempted in the modern sense of the word? Christ’s temptation in the desert can be seen as one of Satan “thrusting” and Jesus only warding off the thrusts much like in fencing. In the episode of the temptation in the desert, Jesus uses His own words only once (the rest he quotes all from Deuteronomy) as he says, “Begone, Satan.” Satan did go away but only “until the time” when he returns for Jesus’ Passion. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Eight

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Some people hinder the hard work of forgiving by smothering confrontation. In other words, when they are in charge, they never let people heal conflict through forgiving. Parents can often be guilty of this by shushing us or soothing us and assuring us that whatever makes us mad is not worth raising a fuss about. Parents can get in the way between us and those who did us wrong by either always protecting, always pinning down the arms of our rage, or forever pacifying us. Parents say, “Forgive and forget” and what they really mean is, “Don’t make a fuss, I can’t stand the noise.” Don’t confuse the technique of smoothing things over with the high art of forgiving those who transgress against us. Smothering conflict is not the same as helping people forgive each other. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.