For a good time at the movies go see “The Artist.” It is creative and fun, the way a movie should be. Also, attending a concert of the Kansas City Symphony is well worth it. The new concert hall has great acoustics and the orchestra sounds great. What a blessing for Kansas City! If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Tag Archives: bible advice
Today’s Temptation
The word to “tempt” is not always used of an evil person or situation urging a good person to do wrong. When Jesus is tempted by Satan while in the desert he quotes Deuteronomy 6:16 by responding with “Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God” where the verb “tempt” has some such meaning as “try God’s patience” or almost to “ask for trouble.” However when we say we are tempted, it means that our free will is attracted. In Scripture, to be tempted means that the will is being subjected to a test, not that our free will is attracted. So was Christ tempted in the modern sense of the word? Christ’s temptation in the desert can be seen as one of Satan “thrusting” and Jesus only warding off the thrusts much like in fencing. In the episode of the temptation in the desert, Jesus uses His own words only once (the rest he quotes all from Deuteronomy) as he says, “Begone, Satan.” Satan did go away but only “until the time” when he returns for Jesus’ Passion. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Eight
Some people hinder the hard work of forgiving by smothering confrontation. In other words, when they are in charge, they never let people heal conflict through forgiving. Parents can often be guilty of this by shushing us or soothing us and assuring us that whatever makes us mad is not worth raising a fuss about. Parents can get in the way between us and those who did us wrong by either always protecting, always pinning down the arms of our rage, or forever pacifying us. Parents say, “Forgive and forget” and what they really mean is, “Don’t make a fuss, I can’t stand the noise.” Don’t confuse the technique of smoothing things over with the high art of forgiving those who transgress against us. Smothering conflict is not the same as helping people forgive each other. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Seven
Excusing is the opposite of forgiving. We excuse people when we understand that they were not to blame but we forgive people for things we blame them for. We excuse all if we understand all. Excusing takes insight. Think of the reasons you could submit to show another person that you were not to blame for the rotten thing you did. Perhaps the fault is in your DNA and thus you need to be re-engineered! Or perhaps the fault lies in your psychic conditioning where you had a crazy upbringing and your father was passive-aggressive and your mother was Bipolar. If they made you what you are today then you do not need forgiving, you may however need therapy! Or it could be that the culture made you what you are. You were conditioned to do whatever in your culture gave you pleasure and to avoid whatever in your culture caused you pain. The culture that formed you can be changed. It is when we admit the mystery of another person’s free choice when we come to where the crisis of forgiveness lies. Forgiveness is tough. Excusing is easy. It is a mistake to confuse forgiving with being mushy, soft, gutless, and so understanding. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Six
When we forgive someone it does not mean we forget the hurtful act. Forgetting is not part of the package of forgiveness. In fact if you forget, you will not forgive at all. You can never forgive people for things they have done to you if you have forgotten about it. You need to forgive precisely because you have not forgotten what someone did. Your memory keeps the pain alive long after the actual hurt has stopped. To remember is to tap into the storage of pain and it is why you need to be healed in the first place. Forgetting could be an unhealthy way to escape the inner surgery of the heart that we call forgiving. There are two kinds of pain that we forget: hurts too trivial to bother about and pains too horrible for our memory to manage. The pains we dare not remember are the unhealthiest of all because we are fearful to face something horrible that once hurt us. We attempt to stuff the horrible experience into the black holes of our unconscious but it will come back disguised perhaps like a demon wearing an angel’s face. Only when we have been healed can we in essence forget. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Five
Forgiveness is about the transformation of people rather than about certain therapeutic techniques. People need time to uncover anger, especially anger that has dwelt with the person for years. Forgiveness involves seeing the offender in new ways and allowing the feeling of empathy to emerge. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Four
“When you come upon your enemy’s ox or ass going astray, see to it that it is returned to him. When you notice the ass of one who hates you lying prostrate under its burden, by no means desert him; help him, rather, to raise it up.” Exodus, Chapter 23, Verse 4. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part One
For the next several posts, I thought we might consider the topic of forgiveness because simply put, people who forgive someone can greatly improve their emotional health. Research has shown (Dr. Robert Enright) that people who forgive can decrease anger, anxiety, and depression and increase self-esteem and hope following a forgiveness intervention. Forgiveness may be important in people’s emotional healing from events and relationships that cause considerable suffering even if these individuals do not have a psychiatric disorder per se. Some usual ideas about forgiveness fall into such categories such as “move on with your life” or “let go of the resentment.” However forgiveness of deep offenses from other people can be psychologically healing in many ways. Forgiveness has a specific task: to help people overcome resentment, bitterness, and even hatred toward people who have treated them unfairly and at times cruelly. Forgiveness is a specialist in quelling the kind of anger that debilitates the injured or wounded individual. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
A New New Year’s Resolution
How about a New Year’s resolution of getting to know yourself better. Take the Meyers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI) and find out your four letter type. Then read about that type and learn more about yourself. Our personalities can be seen as having two aspects, our temperament and character. Our temperament looks carefully at our inclinations such as why are some people inclined to stay at parties until the sun comes up and why others run out of gas and want to retreat back to their homes. Some are fueled by the incessant social contact, others are ready to call it a night. Your four-letter temperament type can be said to be likened to your thumbprint. Each of us is a unique, unrepeatable act of God with the cooperation of our parents. In the play “Pygmalion” by George Bernard Shaw (turned into a very famous musical entitled “My Fair Lady”), the protagonist strives to create a person just like him. Henry Higgins as he works with Eliza Doolittle in “My Fair Lady” to remake her over in his image finally exclaims in frustration, “Why can’t she just be like me!” Eliza has her own inclinations on how to go about doing things. In a family it is important to be aware of our spouse’s and children’s temperaments. If we continually try to make our spouses and children do things based on our own inclinations, this can well breed some resentment on their part over time. They have their own inclinations on how to get things done. Learn to appreciate their approach to things. Seek to understand rather than to be understood. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
High Standards
Here are some ways a young woman can claim the respect they deserve. First, dress in a way appropriate to your dignity. Don’t walk around sending a message that your body is the best part of you. This implies that your heart, mind, and soul aren’t so important. Say with your modesty “I am worth waiting to see.” Second, refuse to sleep with a man until you have his wedding ring on your finger. If he really loves you, he will wait. The respect you have for yourself and for each other will carry over into your marriage. Third, set your standards high on who you will date. A real man will rise up to meet your standards, but if you stoop and lower yours to his, you will have much to regret. Be patient, amazing men do exist! Lastly be willing to confront any guy who ogles you with his eyes or touches you inappropriately. Firmly and respectfully (and maybe in private) let him know that this is completely unacceptable. Parents do not be afraid to talk to your sons and daughters about this sensitive issue. It can save everyone a lot of heartache. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.