The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Six

When we forgive someone it does not mean we forget the hurtful act. Forgetting is not part of the package of forgiveness. In fact if you forget, you will not forgive at all. You can never forgive people for things they have done to you if you have forgotten about it. You need to forgive precisely because you have not forgotten what someone did. Your memory keeps the pain alive long after the actual hurt has stopped. To remember is to tap into the storage of pain and it is why you need to be healed in the first place. Forgetting could be an unhealthy way to escape the inner surgery of the heart that we call forgiving. There are two kinds of pain that we forget:  hurts too trivial to bother about and pains too horrible for our memory to manage. The pains we dare not remember are the unhealthiest of all because we are fearful to face something horrible that once hurt us. We attempt to stuff the horrible experience into the black holes of our unconscious but it will come back disguised perhaps like a demon wearing an angel’s face. Only when we have been healed can we in essence forget. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at

Know Your Fears

Psychologists from St. Augustine to Freud have seen fear as a universal, underlying experience of life. Fears usually begin in childhood and should be clearly recognized by every mature adult. Here is a list of our most common fears which tend to be pervasive and last throughout life.

*Fear of being hurt

*Fear of illness-sometimes called hypochondria

*Fear of rejection by others

*Fear of embarrassment

*Fear of being trapped in some situation

*Fear of being abandoned or left alone

*Fear of being without enough funds

*Fear of being controlled by some passion or compulsion

*Fear of death

Make a list of your most common fears which may include some of the above and some unique to you. Fear can motivate us to do good or to do bad. Fear can make us wisely cautious and warn us of real danger. However fear can also paralyze us and cause us to hold back, or never begin what we should have started. “Know your fears!”  If you are in need of counseling or know someone who is, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at