For a good time at the movies go see “The Artist.” It is creative and fun, the way a movie should be. Also, attending a concert of the Kansas City Symphony is well worth it. The new concert hall has great acoustics and the orchestra sounds great. What a blessing for Kansas City! If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Tag Archives: bible
Today’s Temptation
The word to “tempt” is not always used of an evil person or situation urging a good person to do wrong. When Jesus is tempted by Satan while in the desert he quotes Deuteronomy 6:16 by responding with “Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God” where the verb “tempt” has some such meaning as “try God’s patience” or almost to “ask for trouble.” However when we say we are tempted, it means that our free will is attracted. In Scripture, to be tempted means that the will is being subjected to a test, not that our free will is attracted. So was Christ tempted in the modern sense of the word? Christ’s temptation in the desert can be seen as one of Satan “thrusting” and Jesus only warding off the thrusts much like in fencing. In the episode of the temptation in the desert, Jesus uses His own words only once (the rest he quotes all from Deuteronomy) as he says, “Begone, Satan.” Satan did go away but only “until the time” when he returns for Jesus’ Passion. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Eight
Some people hinder the hard work of forgiving by smothering confrontation. In other words, when they are in charge, they never let people heal conflict through forgiving. Parents can often be guilty of this by shushing us or soothing us and assuring us that whatever makes us mad is not worth raising a fuss about. Parents can get in the way between us and those who did us wrong by either always protecting, always pinning down the arms of our rage, or forever pacifying us. Parents say, “Forgive and forget” and what they really mean is, “Don’t make a fuss, I can’t stand the noise.” Don’t confuse the technique of smoothing things over with the high art of forgiving those who transgress against us. Smothering conflict is not the same as helping people forgive each other. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Seven
Excusing is the opposite of forgiving. We excuse people when we understand that they were not to blame but we forgive people for things we blame them for. We excuse all if we understand all. Excusing takes insight. Think of the reasons you could submit to show another person that you were not to blame for the rotten thing you did. Perhaps the fault is in your DNA and thus you need to be re-engineered! Or perhaps the fault lies in your psychic conditioning where you had a crazy upbringing and your father was passive-aggressive and your mother was Bipolar. If they made you what you are today then you do not need forgiving, you may however need therapy! Or it could be that the culture made you what you are. You were conditioned to do whatever in your culture gave you pleasure and to avoid whatever in your culture caused you pain. The culture that formed you can be changed. It is when we admit the mystery of another person’s free choice when we come to where the crisis of forgiveness lies. Forgiveness is tough. Excusing is easy. It is a mistake to confuse forgiving with being mushy, soft, gutless, and so understanding. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Six
When we forgive someone it does not mean we forget the hurtful act. Forgetting is not part of the package of forgiveness. In fact if you forget, you will not forgive at all. You can never forgive people for things they have done to you if you have forgotten about it. You need to forgive precisely because you have not forgotten what someone did. Your memory keeps the pain alive long after the actual hurt has stopped. To remember is to tap into the storage of pain and it is why you need to be healed in the first place. Forgetting could be an unhealthy way to escape the inner surgery of the heart that we call forgiving. There are two kinds of pain that we forget: hurts too trivial to bother about and pains too horrible for our memory to manage. The pains we dare not remember are the unhealthiest of all because we are fearful to face something horrible that once hurt us. We attempt to stuff the horrible experience into the black holes of our unconscious but it will come back disguised perhaps like a demon wearing an angel’s face. Only when we have been healed can we in essence forget. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Five
Forgiveness is about the transformation of people rather than about certain therapeutic techniques. People need time to uncover anger, especially anger that has dwelt with the person for years. Forgiveness involves seeing the offender in new ways and allowing the feeling of empathy to emerge. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Four
“When you come upon your enemy’s ox or ass going astray, see to it that it is returned to him. When you notice the ass of one who hates you lying prostrate under its burden, by no means desert him; help him, rather, to raise it up.” Exodus, Chapter 23, Verse 4. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Avoidant People – Part Three
The state of “inwardness” for avoidant people leads to some disturbing tendencies including addictive behaviors or intimacy substitutes. These intimacy substitutes include an excessive fantasy life, Internet addictions (including pornography), eating disorders, substance abuse, shopping sprees, and compulsive thrill seeking behavior such as driving fast or other types of high-risk behaviors. Another disturbing tendency is an angry resentment of God called volitional doubt. This involves turning away from God and pursuing vice or sinful habits. Volitional doubt is a belief that “God is not really there for me; I have prayed and prayed; yet He never comes through; I don’t need Him; I just need me.” Many atheists have a notably avoidant relational style. They rely on no one, including God. Thus there is no desire to learn about God and avoidant people have stopped seeking Him, stopped praying, and given up on the church community. God is seen as merely making sure nothing goes wrong in their lives. So when things do go wrong in their lives, they blame God. However God’s purpose is not to make sure things don’t go wrong in life. They do! One of God’s roles is to provide comfort but the avoidant person only wants to do that for themselves and push on without coming to a place of honesty. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Grace of Marriage
The key to making changes in a marriage is to see your spouse as God’s son or daughter. Your spouse and you are someone Jesus Christ died for and thus you both are part of God’s flock, a part of His handiwork in the Kingdom. Your spouse is worthy of your respect at all times. Spouses can work through each other to accomplish God’s work. Spouses can influence each other to the good. If you want to influence someone to be more Christ-like then you need to become more Christ-like yourself. A spouse’s behavior should be exemplified by a single word: grace. Grace heals. The hallmark of grace is forgiveness, and one aspect of forgiveness is the attitude of “I am giving up my right to retaliation, my right to hurt you back.” If your spouse has given you every reason for withdrawing, pursuing, or fighting, forgiveness means just letting it go. You are going to cancel the debt. However cancelling a debt is just part of forgiveness. The other part is establishing an appropriate relationship. That means not being foolish or inviting more hurt but having enough courage to take risks and to be vulnerable. Share those parts of yourself you have been keeping locked away…secret feelings, risky opinions, times when you risk rejection but share an idea anyway. If you are in need of marriage counseling or need some counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Bible Marriage Advice
We need to live for our spouses and this makes their problems your problems. Though often quoted, the Letter to the Ephesians 5:21-33 is a passage all couples should review from time to time and utilize as an examination of conscience on how they are doing in their marriage. “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife just as Christ is the head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes it and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.” If we truly are one flesh how can our spouses have issues reverberating so deeply within them and we not consider that we have those same issues? Our spouse’s problem is your problem. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.