Some people hinder the hard work of forgiving by smothering confrontation. In other words, when they are in charge, they never let people heal conflict through forgiving. Parents can often be guilty of this by shushing us or soothing us and assuring us that whatever makes us mad is not worth raising a fuss about. Parents can get in the way between us and those who did us wrong by either always protecting, always pinning down the arms of our rage, or forever pacifying us. Parents say, “Forgive and forget” and what they really mean is, “Don’t make a fuss, I can’t stand the noise.” Don’t confuse the technique of smoothing things over with the high art of forgiving those who transgress against us. Smothering conflict is not the same as helping people forgive each other. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Tag Archives: depression
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Six
When we forgive someone it does not mean we forget the hurtful act. Forgetting is not part of the package of forgiveness. In fact if you forget, you will not forgive at all. You can never forgive people for things they have done to you if you have forgotten about it. You need to forgive precisely because you have not forgotten what someone did. Your memory keeps the pain alive long after the actual hurt has stopped. To remember is to tap into the storage of pain and it is why you need to be healed in the first place. Forgetting could be an unhealthy way to escape the inner surgery of the heart that we call forgiving. There are two kinds of pain that we forget: hurts too trivial to bother about and pains too horrible for our memory to manage. The pains we dare not remember are the unhealthiest of all because we are fearful to face something horrible that once hurt us. We attempt to stuff the horrible experience into the black holes of our unconscious but it will come back disguised perhaps like a demon wearing an angel’s face. Only when we have been healed can we in essence forget. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Healing of Forgiveness – Part Five
Forgiveness is about the transformation of people rather than about certain therapeutic techniques. People need time to uncover anger, especially anger that has dwelt with the person for years. Forgiveness involves seeing the offender in new ways and allowing the feeling of empathy to emerge. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Compulsive Perfectionist
A Compulsive Perfectionist is someone who, as a child, achieved attention only for significant successes and were ignored or sternly criticized for anything less. They were discouraged from showing their intense feelings and were severely chastened for expressing anger or frustration. Their parents were emotionally cold and distant and uncomfortable with physical expressions of affection or intimacy. Perfectionists value logic and order. For them, feelings and relationships are like ants at a picnic, unwanted. Perfectionists are prone to depression, especially after losing control of some aspect of their lives. They are also vulnerable to anxiety problems and worry. When they worry it only intensifies their compulsive perfectionism leading to irritable and cantankerous behavior. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Share In Other’s Sorrows
We should not only cope with our own sorrows and learn from them, but we should also share in other people’s sorrow and suffering, even if they have brought it on themselves. A devout person can oftentimes be less sorrowful and consequently less compassionate than the poor sinners of the world. In any society, the difference between the pious and the saintly is often the degree of compassion and acceptance of another’s pain through sorrow that has strangely linked the saintly to the sinful. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who is, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website athttp://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Signs of Depression
Lamar Hunt, Jr. provides services to clients suffering from depression. Here are some signs to look for if you think you are depressed or know someone who may be suffering from depression. Eating and sleeping habits have changed. Difficulty concentrating, focusing and sustaining attention is another symptom. Also, having trouble remembering information and making decisions can point to a diagnosis of depression. When someone suffers from depression, it is a whole body experience and a person’s moods, thoughts and behavior are affected. Depression is a serious condition that needs help from a professional. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who is, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/