From a scientific standpoint we now understand so much more about sexual addiction. For example the brain categorizes sex 20% faster than any other stimulus. Sex taps into the same neural chemical processes other addictions do. We now have large samples of data that allow for therapists/psychologists to understand the cause (or factors that contribute) to sexual addiction. There are a lot of researchers who have looked at treatment models that can be effective in helping a client. In fact the willingness to enter into the process of recovery is a benchmark for returning to normal functioning. Reluctance indicates a lack of trust and can reinforce patterns of behavior no longer helpful to the client. Being open with a trusted person is the start of healing whether it be in individual counseling or a group setting. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Tag Archives: Narcissism
Sexual Addiction – Part One
The more time I spend in the counseling office the more I am discovering that addiction to pornography is an all too common problem especially for men (not that this doesn’t affect women as well). A broader term for this area might be referred to as sexual addiction and the complaints usually center around lost time, money spent, and deteriorating circumstances within significant relationships. When the losses are great such as a divorce or loss of job then the behavior rises to the level of an addiction. Sex addicts weave a web of lies around their compartmentalized lives. For the therapist and client, therapy does not work well without the whole or entire picture. Research appears to indicate that sex addicts can take up to two years or longer to commit to a treatment process even though they know they inevitably have to face it. “Commitment” can often start with the “perfect storm” which usually includes something so disastrous, so painful and so costly that the addict accepts the inevitable, surrendering and asking for help. So the sooner an addict can become totally honest, the sooner treatment can begin. Total honesty is the first place for the addict to begin even though “full disclosure” can appear as a very daunting and overwhelming task. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Selling of Sex
SEE SEX YOUNG, HAVE SEX YOUNG. A recent study (published in April of 2006) entitled “Sexy Media Matter: Exposure to Sexual Content in Music, Movies, Television, and Magazines Predicts Black and White Adolescents’ Sexual Behavior” revealed that this type of exposure accelerates white adolescents’ sexual behavior and increases their risk of engaging in early sexual intercourse. White youths who were subjected to repeated exposures of sexual content were 2.2 times more likely to have sex between the ages of 14 and 16 than those who viewed much less of such material. Those who have fewer alternative sources of sexual norms, such as parents or friends, may turn to the media as a kind of “super peer” that encourages them to be sexually active. Think about sending your 12-year-old son to the mailbox to get the mail and he encounters a Victoria’s Secret catalogue where the cover shot features a gorgeous brunette in a pink bra and panties with a “come hither” look. Many magazines and billboards feature people with perfect bodies wearing next to nothing or clothes that leave little to the imagination. Over time how would that affect the way all of us judge ourselves or others? How much pressure does this put on young girls and boys to look and dress a certain way? This objectification of men and women has gotten markedly worse in recent years and it is very hard to escape. Many parents come to counseling with this concern and it does little good to tell them “just turn it off” because we are literally under siege by this selling of sex everywhere you turn. The daily bombardment affects all of us. Consider the number of marriages ruined by the pornography industry and yet we are told “we are only giving people what they want.” If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Where Do You Stand? Part Two
So what is at the root of President Obama’s desire to uphold such an unjust law and to continue to find ways to alienate and attack strong-believing Christians and people of many other faith backgrounds? Well Stephen Covey in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” notes in habit #5 “Seek First to Understand, Then be Understood.” This is actually a hallmark of empathy, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective, especially the most defenseless of individuals. A person who struggles with a lack of empathy is someone who typically struggles with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (i.e. an extreme form of selfishness). We are called to graduate from the school of “selfishness” about the time in our lives when an adult such as a parent tells us to think about others and be concerned about their frailties and even help them. Obama did not receive this type of formation while growing up because it is clear that his lack of regard for human life at all stages is callous. In fact one could use the phrase “breathtaking callousness” to define the person of the president. He is not a man interested in the virtue of the greatest good for another human being and would rather take away freedom than be challenged (or try to even learn something new). In short, he is not at the moment teachable and thus there is no humility about this man. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
The Hard Drive in Our Minds
Albert Camus said, “I shall tell you a secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.” Some time ago it was reported that a Dr. Wilder Penfield of Montreal’s Neurological Institute discovered that certain sites in the brain when stimulated electrically led one patient to hear an old melody he thought he had long ago forgotten and another patient to relive the experience of having her baby (oh boy!). His findings convinced some scientists that every action of our life is recorded in our brain and that even our thoughts and feelings about our actions at the time we did them are also recorded. Could there then be solid psychological support for the biblical teaching of judgment after death? A lot of people would rather try to forget certain things but the memory is etched on the hard drive of your brain much like wherever go on the Internet is also recorded on your computer’s internal hard drive. It sure does matter what a person does with the time given him/her by God. The very famous sportswriter Grantland Rice said, “When the One Great Scorer comes to write against your name, He writes-not that you won or lost-but how you played the game.” We should be concerned about God’s judgment when we die because no one escapes it and no one will get the VIP treatment. A way to start with examining your conscience is by spending a few minutes each day replaying your day and picking out a high point and then a low point and recognizing the need for God’s forgiveness and the grace to respond better the next time. Finally look ahead to tomorrow and focus on a critical point like a difficult thing you must do, and talk to the Holy Spirit asking for guidance with that difficult thing. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.
Know About Narcissism
Narcissism is a state of excessive, inflated self-love. This sense of self-love is considered a false self, because below the layer of superiority festers a deeply rooted sense of worthlessness. Successful narcissists, especially those in the entertainment business (this can include athletes), the political arena, those who do public speaking for a living, and even in Christian ministry, can be manipulative and are in a position to easily exploit others. These individuals frequently surround themselves with a staff of extremely devoted followers who have committed themselves to providing their charismatic boss with uninterrupted adulation. Narcissists become even more self-absorbed under stress and when they receive negative feedback, they become angry and contemptuous. They will defend their actions no matter how indefensible these actions may seem and even go on a counterattack challenging their critic for having the gall to confront them. Unfortunately the problems go unaddressed and may even get worse. Narcissism can be treated through therapy. If you are in need of counseling or know someone who does, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.