Tag Archives: Narcissism

The Hunger Game

Posted on by

With the opening of the movie, “The Hunger Games”, we all have a chance to learn a new word, dystopia or dystopian. The word means a society characterized by human misery, such as squalor, oppression, disease, and overcrowding. There is nothing subtle about “The Hunger Games” though there are redeeming human virtues displayed throughout such as justice, fortitude, temperance, and prudence. These four virtues are commonly referred to as the “cardinal” virtues and serve as the hinges for all of the other virtues that come to mind such as patience.

A much better movie and perhaps more disturbing because it rings so true is an adaptation of a PD James novel written in 1992 called, “The Children of Men.” This 2006 movie is set in England and centers on the results of mass infertility, where the women can no longer conceive a child. However in the midst of a steadily declining population in the United Kingdom is a group of resisters who do not share the disillusionment of the masses of people who have lost hope. Among this group is a woman who is found to be capable of conceiving and giving birth to a child who in essence will save mankind. Somewhere I think we have heard this story before. Check out the book and the movie and tell your friends to ignore the prophets of gloom and doom. All is well and life is worth living! Check out Natural Family Planning (NFP). If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Is the Sky Really Falling?

Posted on by

For more than 40 years the public has been bombarded with apocalyptic tales of disaster regarding population growth. Paul Ehrlich, a prominent “so-called” prophet of population doom, predicted in 1968 that millions of people would die from starvation in the 1970’s. He later predicted that the death-toll estimates would increase to a billion people dying from starvation by the mid-1980’s. These famines never materialized and though there are still too many people who remain hungry, agricultural advances have fought off massive famines. Most measures of human welfare show the Earth’s population is better off today than at any other time in human history. Life expectancy is increasing, per-capita income is rising, and the air that we breathe and the water we drink are cleaner. And, ironically, concerns expressed in the 1970’s about the earth’s climate headed toward the next ice age have now been turned to concerns of global warming and melting ice caps. Stanford economist, Paul Romer says, “Every generation has underestimated the potential for finding new recipes and ideas. We consistently fail to grasp how many ideas remain to be discovered. Possibilities do not add up; they multiply.”

The trouble with the “sky-is-falling” claims is that they can lead to costly and restrictive government regulations and media biases. Ehrlich thinks that the government should have a greater role in family planning and he demands that the media start educating the public every day “on the role played by the unsustainable human numbers behind environmental degradation and human calamities.” He claims that the public needs a constant message of “it is time to stop growing and become sustainable.” In fact the opposite is quite true, as government regulations and media propaganda will suffocate the kind of advances that have only helped improve environmental conditions and human well-being. Why won’t these “prophets” of environmental gloom just go away? For more information read “Greener than Thou: Are You Really an Environmentalist?” by Terry L. Anderson and Laura Higgins who deserve all the credit for their wise insights. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Anabolic Steroids and Birth Control Pills – Part Three

Posted on by

In the case of anabolic steroids, relatively few of us use them and as a result we have no collective emotional investment in them. Therefore an individual’s judgment is not impaired when making the risk/reward analysis. In addition, the media has been very proactive in informing us of the dangers related to anabolic steroid use. Also the medical community has done its job as well with regard to sounding the alarm of the consequences of using anabolic steroids.

In the case of birth control pills, literally millions of women are using the pill. As a result, their significant others (i.e. men) and our society have a collective emotional investment in the pill that makes it very difficult to judge the evidence more clearly and objectively. Also the media has done little to inform us of the dangers related to the use of the pill. In fact, when the media has warned us, it would appear that the media will “bend over backwards” to reassure us that we should continue to use the pill, regardless of how serious this just might be.

A recent study found that most of us are almost completely unaware of these dangers of the pill. Only 40% of pill users were informed by their doctor about the risks of blood clots and stroke, and a mere 19% were informed about the increased risk of breast cancer. Whether one assumes the risks associated with either type of steroids with full knowledge or out of complete ignorance, it is a game of Russian roulette. That is a very dangerous game to play with one’s life and quality of health without even knowing the rules or risks.

Don’t we owe it to ourselves and to our families to thoroughly educate ourselves about any “so-called” medication before putting them into our bodies?  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Anabolic Steroids and Birth Control Pills – Part Two

Posted on by

According to a study done by “Scientific American” birth control pills have structural effects on regions of the brain that govern higher-order cognitive activities and the pill seems to adversely affect a woman’s ability to choose the most biologically and emotionally compatible mate. It seems reasonable to suspect that anabolic steroids would do the same with a man’s ability to choose the most compatible mate.

Both anabolic steroids and birth control pills may be taken for legitimate medical reasons including helping with hormonal imbalances. Both are not being used for truly medicinal purposes in that they have little or nothing to do with alleviating or curing disease. Both are being used to force the human body to do something it was not designed to do. The reward for using anabolic steroids is fame and fortune. For birth control pills the supposed “reward” is not having a baby. What is dramatically different about anabolic steroids and birth control pills is our reaction to them as a society.

With regard to anabolic steroids society has clearly come to the conclusion that steps should be taken to keep individuals from using them in ways that are truly not medicinal. But in the case of birth control pills society has gone exactly in the opposite direction. As a society we try to ensure that everyone has easy access to birth control pills, even to have them paid for by insurance. Many would like them available over-the-counter. It has even gotten to the point that the president of the US is mandating that health insurance must cover the pill free of charge and violate the First Amendment in the process. So why do we have such polar opposite views of these two types of “steroids” in our society? If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Anabolic Steroids and Birth Control Pills – Part One

Posted on by

Anabolic steroids pose many documented and significant risks to an individual’s life and health. This can include changes in the way the brain functions, a weakening of the immune system, high blood pressure, increased cholesterol, increased aggression (so called “roid-rage”), heart enlargement, breast enlargement (in men), breast reduction (in women), heart attacks, stroke, sexual dysfunction, renal failure, and possible liver cancer. For those who take anabolic steroids it would seem that the natural human instinct for self-preservation is overwhelmed by the promise or reward of potential wealth and fame. For those individuals the potential reward is immediate and concrete while any risks are perceived to be in the distant future and thus, vague.

Within the pharmaceutical industry there is another controversy that at first glance may seem entirely different: the birth control pill. But if fact, anabolic steroids and birth control pills share a great deal in common. Both are “steroids.” Anabolic steroids are the synthetic version of the male sex hormone, testosterone. Birth control pills are the synthetic version of the female sex hormones, estrogen and progesterone. Both involve significant risk to life and health.

Birth control pills cause decreased libido, even after a women stops using it, and can cause mood changes, high blood pressure, blood clots, stroke, heart disease and heart attacks. According to a study published in the “Journal of Sexual Medicine”, the pill may have adverse “long-term, sexual, metabolic and mental-health consequences.” The birth control pill is listed as a “Group 1 Carcinogen” alongside of asbestos, tobacco and formaldehyde by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Cancer Society! Birth control pills are associated with a significant risk of a particularly aggressive form of breast cancer called “triple negative,” increased rates of breast cancer in general and increased rates of liver and cervical cancer in general. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

A Ballet May be Just What You Need

Posted on by

When I think of ballet, I think of the movie, “Men in Tights” which I happened to catch a little of the other day (the Mel Brooks movie of 1993 is uneven at best). Well fortunately I was asked by my oldest daughter Sarah, to attend the Kansas City Ballet’s production of “Romeo and Juliet” on Sunday February 26th at 2 pm and this was no “Men in Tights.” My wife Rita and I went to mainly enjoy the company of my daughter and son-in-law. There was also the promise of some fine dining afterward. I also went because I am familiar with the music to the ballet by Sergei Prokofiev. Now Prokofiev is a quirky Russian composer with an uneven output of classical music. That means there is some music that is captivating and some that is grating and irritating to listen to. “Romeo and Juliet” is of the former and is some of Prokofiev’s finest music. What caught me further by surprise was the excellence of the ballet and the overall presentation with sets and dramatic gestures by the dancers. I was moved by their presentation of this time-old story of thwarted love and family feuding. Honestly how could adults get in the way of such devoted lovers and not encourage their love for one another. Selfishness and pride come to mind.

Three things stood out to me. First was the dancing of the male lead, Anthony Krutzkamp. Now I have been exposed to athletes all of my life and I can tell you this guy is an athlete, yet very supple and effortless. It sort of reminded me of Joe Montana throwing the football. Understated but quite effective. It seems to me professional athletes could learn a thing or two from ballet dancers about flexibility (this is not a new notion!). It would probably help them a lot. Second was the farewell performance of a long-time dancer with the Kansas City Ballet named Kimberly Cowen. I thought how this must have been a very emotional performance for her and while I read she will appear in May at a last “public” performance this had to be a very bittersweet moment for her. For all of the hubbub surrounding someone like Peyton Manning, there are so many professionals dedicated to their art and craft that go unnoticed and under appreciated. Lastly, of course, is the Kansas City Symphony, a significant partner in this production. Sometimes when ballet music is performed as orchestral music (or a suite) without dancers, the music is played at breakneck speeds with no regard to the tempo or the subtleties of the music. However with dancers in the mix, there has to be restraint because tempos that are out of control are not conducive for allowing the dancers to execute their intricate moves. The conductor did a great job of watching the dancers and conveying the desired tempo to the musicians. Even with a small force of musicians, most probably because of size constraints in the orchestra pit, the music came across as majestic and skillfully executed. Prokofiev loves to write passages for various instruments that go to the extremes of their range. The musicians acquitted themselves quite well and the brass never sounded too forceful or obnoxious.

Once again a message for all Kansas Citian’s, please check out a symphony, opera, or ballet performance at the Kaufmann Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Kansas City. Support these local artists and their gifts. There are some genuinely beautiful things going on and the arts so enrich one’s mind and soul. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

What Makes A Marriage Work

Posted on by

Marriage has the power to sanctify (make holy) each person in the marriage. A couple cannot love each other just based on their own power and initiative. There must be a vital and shared prayer life because faith changes everything. There is a heroic generosity in working for the good of the other person.

As a starting point both individuals in a marriage need to develop their Christian identity. This means a set of values and asking yourself the question of, “Would you live out those values if a camera were on you?” Values are a reflection of your choices and actions. It is a clear sense of your mission.

Couples should start with a “Marital Mission Statement” and asked themselves who they are in relationships with people. If you don’t know what qualities to work on look at Galatians Chapter 5, verses 22-23. Typically the qualities of patience, gentleness, generosity, and self-control need to be worked on marital relationships.

Next, get practical and write it down. If one partner has difficulty with their temper (i.e. patience) then the other partner needs to know how to respond to outbursts of temper. Make sure it is about the quality or virtue you each want to work and remember you are there to help be a source of grace for your partner’s emotional and spiritual growth. Attacks on a partner’s character have no place in a marriage. If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Sexual Addiction – Part Five

Posted on by

So what makes a sex addict? Sex addicts come from families where there were addicts of all kinds. Families of sex addicts have been described as detached, uninvolved, and emotionally absent. They have also been described as rigid, dogmatic, and inflexible. Sex addicts report high incidences of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse in their families of origin. It is clear for sex addicts that trauma or high stress and addiction are inextricably connected. This can include physiological/psychological trauma reactions from unresolved past traumatic experiences; seeking or finding pleasure in the presence of extreme danger, violence, risk, or shame; efforts to numb, block out, or overwhelm residual feelings due to trauma; and blocking traumatic realities by splitting or dissociating from painful experiences and not integrating those experiences into personality or daily life. For sex addicts less than 13% of addicts have only one addiction and sustained recovery is more successful when all addictions present are addressed. Addictions do not merely coexist, but actually interact with each other. For those who may be struggling with sexual addiction and are married a good book to consider is “Open Hearts: Renewing Relationships with Recovery, Romance, and Reality” by Patrick Carnes and Debra and Mark Laaser.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Sexual Addiction – Part Four

Posted on by

So what does a “perfect storm” look like for a sex addict? First the truth emerges. Addiction can only thrive in deception. Sex addiction requires compartmentalization and duplicity. Addicts typically believe in secrecy as the solution. Yet there are no secrets. Something happens to expose the reality and this creates a strong reaction in those around the addict. Second there is damage control by the addict which only makes it worse. Addicts will acknowledge the truth in bits and pieces as they have to. They will resort to dishonesty in the hope that no more facts come out. Then as more facts emerge, they have to admit to more lying which in turn further undermines whatever credibility they have. Spouses often refer to this as Chinese Water Torture. They are worn down by the dishonesty. Next the spouse or loved one becomes a seasoned private investigator. Armed with a heightened sense of distrust and anxiety the loved one becomes obsessed with the addict. They become “forensic” accountants in an effort to find out the truth. Unfortunately they are usually rewarded with more to discover. When an addict discloses the truth or even part of it, the net effect on the spouse is traumatic because it involves “sex” and the wounding is thus “amplified.” It is by comparison easier to understand if someone chooses alcohol over you, but if the disease is about other sexual partners, it is harder to accept. Yet truth and full disclosure does help because it lays bare that the addict clearly has a problem.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.

Sexual Addiction – Part Three

Posted on by

When someone comes to therapy and presents with a sexually compulsive behavior as a serious concern, there can be an enormous stigma attached to it because it is about “sex.” One of the main primal activities of humans is sex, to reproduce ourselves. However this imperative to reproduce requires responsible behavior. So the reactions are very intense when there are violations of love and trust in the expression of human sexuality. The media bombards us almost on a daily basis with very “messy” situations regarding sexual revelations. These revelations may be about a political leader or a leader of a church such as a priest, minister, or rabbi. Business leaders, educators at the high school level, physicians, college professors, day care professionals, and even law enforcement personnel have had their sexual behavior revealed in graphic detail as well. When sex becomes an addiction it threatens our most important social bonds. Things like compulsive overeating that cause obesity does not generate the huge outcry sexual addiction does and it affects far more people. The fact that 4,300 adolescents might start using drugs everyday does not get much reaction, but sex does. The fact that 16% of graduating seniors from high school are at risk for pathological gambling does not grab headlines, but sex does. Sex is so core to our species’ survival that it has been hard to appreciate when it can be addictive. So when it is, it creates a significant reaction.  If you or someone you know may need counseling, please contact Lamar Hunt Jr. or see his website at http://lamarhuntjrcounseling.com/.